{Excerpt+Giveaway} The Minimalist Babe by Lola R. Marie

I’m not one to preach. In fact, I find the act of trying to convince someone of a different lifestyle quite unnatural. Everyone has their own path in life and their own timing. I understand the principles of minimalism may not be for everyone. You may now be wondering why then have I taken the time to write this book? The thing is that I believe everyone is a minimalist at heart; we were simple at birth, after all.

I often hear others reminisce about the old days. How life was simple and vivid during childhood. Music was heavenly, the outdoors was our domain and ice cream was everything! There was an authentic nuance to life that now most of us only have access to through our memories; the bitter-sweet nostalgia.

This book is about reviving that childlike glee. It’s about happiness and what it really takes to be happy. It’s about realizing that less is more, and about letting go of your possessions and the depressions that come with it. It’s about doing away with the unessential so we can concentrate on the things that are truly important to us. Finally, it’s about living in the present and being ready to accept the wonderful things waiting to reach you.

Our need for more: One of society’s most grave and (until now) ignored illnesses.

The Minimalist Babe is about saying goodbye to the extras in life from time to time, finding happiness in having less, and finding your inner badass through your newly acquired freedom. It is the culmination of all my research; a toolbox of sorts filled with tips, techniques, exercises, and prompts that have helped me be my most authentic self.

When I’m not writing, I spend my time nurturing relationships and learning new skills. I focus on being healthy and purposeful and it’s working like magic. I am in the happiest phase of my life and want the same for each one of you. This book is an attempt to manifest that vision. Let us cut out the bitter side of nostalgia and bite into the sweetness of life that is now

Love,
Lola

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Difficult yes, but not impossible

If you want to overcome destructive habits, you have to find ways to create life-changing neural pathways that override the existing unfavorable ones you’ve seeded and matured over years of practice. Now that you know how your brain works in acting out habits and how you’ve single-handedly trained it to be the way it is, you should know that its transformation is also in your control. Instead of thinking that something is wrong with you or that you will always be stuck with a nagging habit, think of what you can do to undo the habit. Think of how you can re-write the negative neural pathways with positive ones.
They all add up

We live in a society that’s quick to judge and brand. What’s worse is that they are equally quick to sell their assumptions to others. It’s good dinner-time conversation, you see. You either fit in and get included or rebel and get ignored and nobody wants that. Most people need attention and acceptance and need others to make them feel worthy.

Society is the product of our inbred need to be with others of our own species. In essence, it reinforces our need to be with others like ourselves. We are exposed to ads that tell us what we need to be healthy, good looking, successful, and happy. We are given formulas that promise to fix just about anything instantly. As we seek to satisfy our need for acceptance and while in pursuit of things that society tells us we need (and the number of these things only grows), some people become hoarders by habit.

Justifying lack of control by giving it sentimental value

In essence, our possessions can symbolize our hopes and dreams. They can represent the world that we want to fit into. They can personify what we want others to think of us as. However misguided it might be, looking at these things can bring back memories and reinstate the reasons you bought them, and fill a void that came from a lack of security, status, comfort, love, and worth. With that much sentiment riding on these things, it comes as no surprise that it can be difficult to let them go.
They tell our story

People hold onto things because they attach them with memories and/or hope, says June Saruwatari, author of Behind the Clutter11, a thought-provoking book that entails not just the physical things that occupy our space but also the mental clutter that keeps us from living in the present and being happy. She explains how we buy things in the hope of accomplishing something that’s been left undone for a long time. As long as the thing stays, our hope to complete the undone remains, and due to that hope of fulfilling the task someday and fear of missing out, we refuse to let it go.

We hope to lose weight and therefore buy a treadmill. We hope to catch up on reading and therefore borrow fifteen of the most loved books from the library. We hope… and therefore we… Somehow that’s always the narrative. We validate our excuses by attaching it to hope and that one feeling alone is enough to keep you going.
We hold onto things because we fear not valuing it otherwise

Some people refuse to let go because of the monetary value they attach to something. For instance, you’ve bought something that was highly priced and know you’ll lose out on money if you resell it or give it away. You therefore hold onto it so as to justify the monetary loss you might have to suffer otherwise. Sometimes, because the item isn’t really worth anything any longer, you’re faced with the option of keeping it (although it is not worth anything) versus cutting your losses. Other times, the thought of losing out on money and of not valuing things might trigger memories from the past, such as a time when you might not have had enough. You, therefore, hold onto things because you believe you’ve learned from your experiences and don’t want to go down that path again.

It’s a vicious cycle borne out of fear, and that manifests into a compulsive and self-destructive habit

The need to experience the feelings mentioned above can cause us to cling onto more and more, in time compounding into the reactive burden of living amidst all the memories and physical baggage associated with these things.

Until you realize you have had enough and want to reform. Because you can…
Ask yourself why you can’t part with your things. Let’s face it; there might only be a handful of people who are ready to drop their possessions overnight and they may not be the ones reading this book. Decluttering is a positive response that is acquired over deliberate introspection and action. Fortunately, you don’t have to rush into things. Take your time and, when you are ready, focus on each item you have trouble parting with and ask yourself why. Dig deep and stay open. You might be surprised by the not so obvious answers.

Memorabilia are different from memories

So often, we hold onto physical belongings because they help us recollect a certain memory. You hold onto your first paycheck because it reminds you of a certain time. You hold onto your baby’s first car seat because it reminds you of the day you got him/her home…
However, there isn’t any relationship between our past and the records we hold onto in view of recollecting that past. You are quite capable of remembering any memory from the past, and if you happen to forget a certain memory, it probably was something that was okay to forget. It’s okay to move on.

In essence, it’s the memories that we can recall without the aid of physical possessions that are important. The rest amounts to frills and extra possessions. As for photos, I recommend you go digital. You’ll be saving up on space and can still look at them when you want.
Let go of the idea of getting your money’s worth

Nobody likes to lose out on hard-earned money, and so in view of getting our money’s worth, we hold onto things even when they become irrelevant to our situations. For instance, you hold onto the bike that you hardly ride and let it collect dust because you aren’t getting your money’s worth. Well the truth is that you most likely won’t, but it’s okay to drop your expectations just a bit. Get real and make the sale when you think you’ve got a good enough deal.

Minimizing is difficult, but not impossible

I believe that cluttering is not just the physical manifestation of your impulses. It digs deeper and into emotions that are stopping you from realizing yourself. Decluttering the physical things can actually help you unravel layers of unaddressed and suppressed emotions. When that happens, you’ll realize your true self and will begin to live your best life.

Points to remember
• Clutter causes stress and anxiety. Stop subscribing to it.
• Your brain is conditioned to act out your habits- so cultivate the right routines.
• Memorabilia is not the same as memories. Take pictures, but it’s better to go digital.
• Let go of the idea of getting your money’s worth.

CHALLENGE TIME
• Name three things you possess that you have been conditioned to hold on to. Now let go of two of those items.