Dear Me: Advice to Our Teenage Selves
By Kim Askew and Amy Helmes,
Authors of the Shakespeare-inspired YA series Twisted Lit, featuring Tempestuous and Exposure (Merit Press)
As teenage girls go, the heroines in our Twisted Lit novels couldn’t be more different. In Tempestuous (our take on Shakespeare’s “The Tempest”), Miranda Prospero is powerful, assertive, and confident, perhaps too much so at times. In Exposure (our retelling of “Macbeth”), Skye Kingston is an insecure wallflower whose default mode is hiding her head in the sand whenever possible. While both characters have their inner demons to battle, it’s fair to say that as teenagers we were each more like “Skye” than “Miranda.” If we could go back in time and offer up some advice to our younger selves, here are a few of the things we’d say:
Amy:
Your “peeps” are out there . . . you just haven’t met them yet.
At age seventeen, I looked like I was twelve, but felt like I was forty. Needless to say, I never really fit in. Growing up before the dawn of the Internet age, it was tough to find peers who were into Merchant-Ivory flicks or who shared my opinion that Mick Jagger was more swoon-worthy than the cheesy boy-bands of my era. (NKOTB, for anyone curious). I eventually broke free of my insular surroundings and found plenty of kindred spirits who shared my sensibilities. Trust that you won’t always feel like the proverbial odd man out.
At age seventeen, I looked like I was twelve, but felt like I was forty. Needless to say, I never really fit in. Growing up before the dawn of the Internet age, it was tough to find peers who were into Merchant-Ivory flicks or who shared my opinion that Mick Jagger was more swoon-worthy than the cheesy boy-bands of my era. (NKOTB, for anyone curious). I eventually broke free of my insular surroundings and found plenty of kindred spirits who shared my sensibilities. Trust that you won’t always feel like the proverbial odd man out.
There’s no point in finding “Mr. Right” too soon.
No one ends up with their high school sweetheart. Okay, sure, it occasionally happens, but it’s not likely. Besides, the type of guy you’re going to be attracted to when you’re ready to settle down won’t be anything like the so-called “hottie” you’re swooning over at the high school dance. (In fact, you’ll probably look back at your yearbook in 15 years and wonder, “Eww — what was I thinking?”) It’s okay to fall in love, but maybe hold off on naming your future children. And if you’re desperate and dateless like I was, all the more reason not to sweat it.
No one ends up with their high school sweetheart. Okay, sure, it occasionally happens, but it’s not likely. Besides, the type of guy you’re going to be attracted to when you’re ready to settle down won’t be anything like the so-called “hottie” you’re swooning over at the high school dance. (In fact, you’ll probably look back at your yearbook in 15 years and wonder, “Eww — what was I thinking?”) It’s okay to fall in love, but maybe hold off on naming your future children. And if you’re desperate and dateless like I was, all the more reason not to sweat it.
You’ll thank your parents later.
My parents didn’t pony up money to fund my adolescent lifestyle. Any “luxuries” I deemed necessary came from babysitting money. I even paid my own way through college. Their tight purse-strings (which I deemed stingy at the time) taught me how to manage my money wisely and live within my means, a lesson that proved priceless. When your parents say, “We’re doing this for your own good,” it might actually be true.
My parents didn’t pony up money to fund my adolescent lifestyle. Any “luxuries” I deemed necessary came from babysitting money. I even paid my own way through college. Their tight purse-strings (which I deemed stingy at the time) taught me how to manage my money wisely and live within my means, a lesson that proved priceless. When your parents say, “We’re doing this for your own good,” it might actually be true.
Back away from the hairspray!
Photo albums in unspecified locations bear sad witness to my younger self’s ill-advised stylistic leanings. I won’t beat myself up over fashion choices that now make me cringe, but I wish I would have embraced the “natural” look instead of experimenting (badly) with beauty products. For god’s sake — you’re 16, young, and wrinkle-free! Lay off the heavy foundation, bad eyeliner and shellacked bangs that defy gravity…and know that you’re beautiful without it!
Photo albums in unspecified locations bear sad witness to my younger self’s ill-advised stylistic leanings. I won’t beat myself up over fashion choices that now make me cringe, but I wish I would have embraced the “natural” look instead of experimenting (badly) with beauty products. For god’s sake — you’re 16, young, and wrinkle-free! Lay off the heavy foundation, bad eyeliner and shellacked bangs that defy gravity…and know that you’re beautiful without it!
Kim:
Hiding your nose in a book isn’t the worst thing in the world.
Like most book lovers, I sometimes retreated into literature to escape awkward social interactions or uncomfortable situations. However, with hindsight, it’s pretty clear that, as far as methods of escapism go, reading is probably one of the best (and safest) around. It taught me a lot about life, people, and worlds far from my doorstep. Now I wouldn’t give that knowledge up for ANYTHING.
Like most book lovers, I sometimes retreated into literature to escape awkward social interactions or uncomfortable situations. However, with hindsight, it’s pretty clear that, as far as methods of escapism go, reading is probably one of the best (and safest) around. It taught me a lot about life, people, and worlds far from my doorstep. Now I wouldn’t give that knowledge up for ANYTHING.
You are way cooler than you think.
You might not feel like it, but if you’re reading this, I can pretty much guarantee that you are. Think of this as a message from your future self: the more you develop your own interests and learn to trust your instincts, the cooler you become. Sure, you might not see it when you look in the mirror, but from someone who’s been there: it’s happening. Feeling lame is just a waste of time.
You might not feel like it, but if you’re reading this, I can pretty much guarantee that you are. Think of this as a message from your future self: the more you develop your own interests and learn to trust your instincts, the cooler you become. Sure, you might not see it when you look in the mirror, but from someone who’s been there: it’s happening. Feeling lame is just a waste of time.
Everyone else is as insecure as you are . . . more so, maybe!
Down deep, we’re all pretty insecure. So give yourself a break, and give your classmates the benefit of the doubt. High school is tough. You’re kind of all in it together, whether anyone realizes it or not. True story: I finally pulled my nose out of a book long enough to go to a party the last week of my senior year. Someone I thought was particularly cool actually said to me: “Wow, you’re really nice. I thought you were a snob.” A lightbulb moment if there ever was one.
Down deep, we’re all pretty insecure. So give yourself a break, and give your classmates the benefit of the doubt. High school is tough. You’re kind of all in it together, whether anyone realizes it or not. True story: I finally pulled my nose out of a book long enough to go to a party the last week of my senior year. Someone I thought was particularly cool actually said to me: “Wow, you’re really nice. I thought you were a snob.” A lightbulb moment if there ever was one.
Don’t sweat the trigonometry class. Seriously.
School was always easy-peasy for me until trigonometry came along and ruined it for me. It wasn’t fun to suddenly just not “get it.” According to my own standards of perfection, I had to be great at everything. Of course, I realize now that I set myself up for disappointment because I don’t know anyone who is perfect. How come I expected myself to be? So definitely give it your all, but if you’ve done your best, that’s good enough. Nobody’s perfect.
School was always easy-peasy for me until trigonometry came along and ruined it for me. It wasn’t fun to suddenly just not “get it.” According to my own standards of perfection, I had to be great at everything. Of course, I realize now that I set myself up for disappointment because I don’t know anyone who is perfect. How come I expected myself to be? So definitely give it your all, but if you’ve done your best, that’s good enough. Nobody’s perfect.
© 2012 Kim Askew and Amy Helmes, authors of Tempestuous: A Twisted Lit Novel
________________________________________________________________
A modern day spin on Shakespeare’s The Tempest
Hardcover, 224 pages
Published December 18th 2012 by Merit Press
Recently banished, unfairly, by the school’s popular crowd, former “it girl,” Miranda Prospero, finds herself in a brave new world: holding dominion amongst a rag-tag crew of geeks and misfits where she works at the Hot-Dog Kabob in the food court of her local mall. When the worst winter storm of the season causes mall workers and last-minute shoppers to be snowed-in for the night, Miranda seizes the opportunity to get revenge against the catty clique behind her social exile. With help from her delightfully dweeby coworker, Ariel, and a sullen loner named Caleb who works at the mall’s nearby gaming and magic shop, Miranda uses charm and trickery to set things to right during this spirited take on Shakespeare’s The Tempest.
Kim Askew, co-author of Tempestuous: A Twisted Lit Novel, whose work has appeared in Elle and other magazines, is a content manager for the Webby-winning teen site www.FashionClub.com, for which she has covered the Teen Choice and MTV awards. Follow Kim on Twitter @kaskew.
Amy Helmes, co-author of Tempestuous: A Twisted Lit Novel, is co-author of Boys of a Feather: A Field Guide to American Males and is also a weekly contributor to The Rundown, a free daily e-mail service that keeps subscribers informed on what’s new and cool in LA. Follow Amy on Twitter @amyhelmes.
Both Kim and Amy think Shakespeare understood the young’s true love and pain like no other, from Hamlet’s sorry stepdad to Juliet’s trauma drama, hence this literate farce, based on “The Tempest.”
For more information please visit http://twistedlitbooks.com and http://www.adamsmedia.com/merit-press-books
Thanks to Merit Press I have one finished copy of Tempestuous to giveaway to a US/CAN follower.
Rules:
-Must be 13+
-Must be a follower
-Open to US/CAN
-My Contest policy applies
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kimbacaffeinate
Oh if only I could tell my teenage self what I know now and better still if my daughter would believe me!
Yto
that’s great advice. i totally understand it and am recognizing myself in it 😉 well, the way i was as a seventeen year old *grin*